Women are stingy and it’s killing our professional lives
Can you believe we are still talking about this in 2014?
I want to comment on the Golden Globes awards, because there’s something striking about feminism today. It’s finally feminine.
In some ways, growing up, many of us were trained to be man-like, in order to compete in a man’s world. That wave of feminism was confrontational and competitive. There were good guys and bad guys, winners and losers.
As women we paid a high price for that kind of confrontational feminism.
- We lost. We didn’t reach equality in 2 generations, much less 1. We were fighting a man’s game by a man’s rules, and needless to say, it didn’t go well.
- We stopped feeling and being feminine.
- We abandoned or corrupted the sisterhood.
- We allowed ourselves to be dragged into a mode of thinking that wreaks havoc in the world and in relationships.
Face it guys, you aren’t doing a fabulous job of taking care of our world.
When I started as chapter chairperson of Digital Eve, about 15 years ago, one of the biggest areas of focus was making sure that we had no competitive or aggressive behavior. At that time, the organization was known as one of the most amicable professional women’s organizations out there – because we insisted on a culture of helpfulness and warmth. That’s the sisterhood.
It’s about joining together. Rather than competing to bring one another down, we boost one another up. The results are superior. Destruction is not a reasonable option. Harming other people is not a reasonable option.
At the Golden Globe awards, it was obvious that the sisterhood is now mainstream. It is mainstream to support one another and to truly understand that competitive and dog-eat-dog behavior damages all of us.
New feminism’s message is fresh, and it’s feminine. The sisterhood’s message is:
- We are one. Our powers work best when we join together, and yes, that can include men.
- Harming others is damaging to myself as well as others. We are no longer willing to pay the price of competition.
- We can all win, and we can win on our own terms.
- Women can succeed by rules made by women. Even in a man’s world, we can do that through communication and collaboration.
- Everyone enjoys themselves a lot more when they rejoice in other people’s success.
I’d be remiss if I spoke about movies without mentioning one of our favorite heroines, Katniss Everdeen. She is a woman in a man’s role, but for once, the author shows the toll on her psyche. She takes the role as a protector of her family, but ultimately the psychological pressure gets to her.
On a personal level, I myself have evolved over this time to become conscious of how damaging it’s been to me professionally, emotionally, and physically to try to keep up with the boys. It’s my hope that our children will find both masculine and feminine forms of expression that are healthy and let every individual find his own self-expression.
For me, the first step is creating Purple and Nine.
What are you doing to create healthy gender roles for your family and community? Do you think that the celebrities are taking this too far or not far enough?
Tell us in the comments below.
About the author
Rebecca Rachmany is the CEO of Gangly Sister. As a high-tech entrepreneur with more than 25 years of experience, Rebecca is a partner in the Microsoft Ventures Azure R&D Accelerator. She has served over 100 high-tech companies and startups in their marketing efforts.
Related posts
